i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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