that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
