Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
