I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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