one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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