I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
