I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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