therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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