I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
