Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
my liver is dry heaving
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize