worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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