And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
