dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Buhtt sex?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
