Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
