They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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