i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
