at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
