no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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