I need help removing her.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
