hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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