Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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