that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
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