escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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