Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Randomize
