he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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