I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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