yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize