how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
