there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
