I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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