this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
