should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
