she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
