piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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