We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
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I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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