id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
