he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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