I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
