we're blogging at a bar
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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