matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
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and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
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It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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