Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
