Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
