He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
