At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
