I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize