Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
