dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
