Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
