I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
