I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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