i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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