oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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