so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
