first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
