I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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