i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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