Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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