I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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