yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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