I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
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I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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