just tell him i said nine months
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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