I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
