Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
