In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
