I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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