It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
